Talking Points

One of my desires at this point and time in my life, is to find more confidence in who I am and how I relate to other people, strangers included.

I was sheltered to a very extreme degree. And while I remember that not affecting me so much, it seems like it has caught up to me.

I have a hard time carrying on a conversation, and myabe I am being extermely hard on myself. But the fact is, I don't feel totally comfortable talking to most people. I always seem to be fishing for what to say next. I don't understand what people are saying sometimes. I get left behind in the existential crisis of not knowing anything about pop culture from the year 2008 and back.

I seem to remember being vivacious and gregarious, but that was also back when I was partying my face off. So I am inclined to think that it was mostly drug and alchohol induced reverly of act.

I can see it getting better. I know it takes time and practice to get good at these things. I'm just an impatient mother fucker and want what i want like, now.

Im a bartender and I have a hard time engaging the guests and talking them up and making them feel at home and comfortable to sit at my bar. I usually try very hard to stay busy making drinks and washing dishes and clearing the bar and refiling drinks, so I don't have to stand and shoot the shit with someone.

A lot of times I dont' even like what someone is saying and want to say some shit, but I hold my tounge.

I also have an issue with defining lines and when they should or should not be crossed.

Last night a man was trashed and apparently catcalling everywoman within his viscinity. Iam suppoed to look out for guest and handle this situation but I didn't even notice it. I thought the dude was just being loud and drunk.

God I have a lot to learn.

To another day, and another bar shift. I like the A.\M. shifts. Got some regulars coming in for the world cup.

This is going to be a good day. peac

La loving Logan

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