Thoughts Illusions and Patterns of A Bohemian Gypsy

 What was I to believe?  What was true anymore? The only thing I understood upon realizing the insanity of the cult I was raised in, was that I was lied to. I didn't know what was right anymore. The only truth there was for me was the truth of my experience.  And now with my new found freedom I would experience everything I was told was wrong and sinful. And at that, religion no longer had meaning.  I was lost, even when I thought I was found. I was told Jesus was my savior but as far as i could tell, He was my prison.  I must brake free. I must see the truth.  Little did I know I had been immersed in a truth that was just bastardize by a long history of influential men, dead set on controlling the masses. Breaking free from the chains of this dogma, I was out to find my own truth. Find what was real, what was right.  Fast forward through the years of hell, beyond the horizon of darkness when I started to see a glimmer of light. I had only amassed ques...

It hit me. The feeling of losing a friend I guess. Strait up. I got a text. And she said, "adios".  The most troubling part for me is, I have done this to a friend before.  This is where karma comes into play. Experiencing both sides of a situation.  I had no idea what I was doing. And I don't regret cutting ties, I just don't like how I went about doing it. But I never realized what kind of hurt I had caused till last night. And my friend saying she can't communicate with me anymore is only half of it. I know I can't assume responsibility for what happened. But when I was the one that connected 2 friends and then one friend gets threatened because the other friend keeps inviting certain people into her life; I feel a bit responsible for it.  I feel bad. Its like a pit in my stomach. I don't like that it happened. I can't control it. I know it's not my fault, but there is still that nagging sense that it was me who broug...

It was a random evening. From start to finish it was quite odd for me. I am a sensitive type. I know this. So I take into account for all the subtleties I feel. But usually, If Im feeling too many things at once, I tend to retreat into myself. This is when I go hibernate. First off, why the fuck is it still legal in some places to smoke your goddamn cigarettes inside?? This should have been my first clue; that out of all the places around town my buddy and his coworkers chose to go to, it was this gross fucking place they called a bar. And none of them even smoke cigarettes!!! WTF! I'm new to town, so I had no idea what I was getting into. But I could look passed it. I was there to have a good time, share a couple drinks and then bounce and go make music with my buddy. That never happened. Not only was I suffocating from the half dead old man sucking down the rest of his life away blowing smoke in my face, but also I regrettably decided to eat a bite of food...the food matche...