(Mid Detox) I can feel the changes.
now that I sit and try to write there is nothing.
There was something earlier.
It was random, I felt energized, I felt almost wired in a way. I had this crazy sensation that I could pass out maybe if it got worse. I thought I was hungry plus it was coupled with seeing this beautiful woman. Hmm, why is it that it moves me. I was acting like a child, I had no decorum for the situation, I was fawning, I was pouncing, I was trying way to hard, I was taken off course of my focus for finding beauty in myself. Not to be conceded. but to find the confidence that holds that power of will and strength, and beauty and finesse, and intelligence and wit. What I saw in her was nothing more than an adoration of what I desire.
So do people show us our deepest secrets too?
Not only are they mirrors for what may hinder us, but they are focal points for what inspires us, what we wish to be. I saw poise and aesthetic beauty that took a breath away, an aura of grace and finesse that glowed beyond her physical self. And simply, thats what I want. I wanted what she had, only I interpreted it as wanting her. But it wasn't really her that I wanted, I wanted her essence, I wanted her energy. Which, since I recognized it in her, only means that it dwells within in me already. So I just have to find it, bring it to light, tap into it, break the barrier. how ever I want to look at an existential transmutation. How can I say it simply. Just be. Do as you would do if you were to be such as what you desire.
This is what, You Are A Bad Ass at Making Money book has been saying all along. If you want to make a million bucks, act like you would act if you were doing everything within your power to save, make, create a million bucks.
If I want to be like that chic I saw, then I need to act like how I would be if I was trying to find that balance of personality with psyche.
I have been seeing more mental progressive nuances lately.
I keep noticing shifts. I haven't drank in 5 days, nor have I eaten any thing with fat. except some ghee in the morning. I'm doing this detox for a yoga class, its an Ayurvedic concept.
So I have been eating super clean. Plus drinking different teas for cleansing the liver and calming the intestinal tract.
I feel like its a combo of both, not drinking and doing the detox, that are causing these subtle shifts. Its weird cause they are sort of like momentary epiphanies that seem to almost expand my being in a way. I don't know, like maybe a consciousness expansion. Maybe it happens in increments at a time, and in different ways we find a new way of coming into something.
I have noticed it with interactions and relationships that are being built.
I notice subtle changes in how people react in split second moments. A glance, a shift of the head, a posture, a change in presence.
I was kind of interested in this one girl and now I am not, then it moved to another girl, and then that dissappated a bit. And this is all within the last month. Then tonight that breath taking moment, and even now, I mean I still feel a sense of intensity in my chest when I think about her aesthetic beauty.
But I can see it fading. I thought about it earlier and it seemed like I was side stepping away from that pursuit of what it is I wanted for myself and my being-ness. I saw it in someone else and warped my desire to fit my perception of them. Crazy fucking mind. And I know that devoting to this endeavor of self realization I will only attract more and more the people who are of the energy that I desire.
As I expand, happenstances will become more and more intense in feeling, I have to learn to sit in not just those moments of feeling and emotions, but all of them. Its emotional intelligence that I seek, along with a self realization of who I am as my soul and my expressions.
La Loving Logan
There was something earlier.
It was random, I felt energized, I felt almost wired in a way. I had this crazy sensation that I could pass out maybe if it got worse. I thought I was hungry plus it was coupled with seeing this beautiful woman. Hmm, why is it that it moves me. I was acting like a child, I had no decorum for the situation, I was fawning, I was pouncing, I was trying way to hard, I was taken off course of my focus for finding beauty in myself. Not to be conceded. but to find the confidence that holds that power of will and strength, and beauty and finesse, and intelligence and wit. What I saw in her was nothing more than an adoration of what I desire.
So do people show us our deepest secrets too?
Not only are they mirrors for what may hinder us, but they are focal points for what inspires us, what we wish to be. I saw poise and aesthetic beauty that took a breath away, an aura of grace and finesse that glowed beyond her physical self. And simply, thats what I want. I wanted what she had, only I interpreted it as wanting her. But it wasn't really her that I wanted, I wanted her essence, I wanted her energy. Which, since I recognized it in her, only means that it dwells within in me already. So I just have to find it, bring it to light, tap into it, break the barrier. how ever I want to look at an existential transmutation. How can I say it simply. Just be. Do as you would do if you were to be such as what you desire.
This is what, You Are A Bad Ass at Making Money book has been saying all along. If you want to make a million bucks, act like you would act if you were doing everything within your power to save, make, create a million bucks.
If I want to be like that chic I saw, then I need to act like how I would be if I was trying to find that balance of personality with psyche.
I have been seeing more mental progressive nuances lately.
I keep noticing shifts. I haven't drank in 5 days, nor have I eaten any thing with fat. except some ghee in the morning. I'm doing this detox for a yoga class, its an Ayurvedic concept.
So I have been eating super clean. Plus drinking different teas for cleansing the liver and calming the intestinal tract.
I feel like its a combo of both, not drinking and doing the detox, that are causing these subtle shifts. Its weird cause they are sort of like momentary epiphanies that seem to almost expand my being in a way. I don't know, like maybe a consciousness expansion. Maybe it happens in increments at a time, and in different ways we find a new way of coming into something.
I have noticed it with interactions and relationships that are being built.
I notice subtle changes in how people react in split second moments. A glance, a shift of the head, a posture, a change in presence.
I was kind of interested in this one girl and now I am not, then it moved to another girl, and then that dissappated a bit. And this is all within the last month. Then tonight that breath taking moment, and even now, I mean I still feel a sense of intensity in my chest when I think about her aesthetic beauty.
But I can see it fading. I thought about it earlier and it seemed like I was side stepping away from that pursuit of what it is I wanted for myself and my being-ness. I saw it in someone else and warped my desire to fit my perception of them. Crazy fucking mind. And I know that devoting to this endeavor of self realization I will only attract more and more the people who are of the energy that I desire.
As I expand, happenstances will become more and more intense in feeling, I have to learn to sit in not just those moments of feeling and emotions, but all of them. Its emotional intelligence that I seek, along with a self realization of who I am as my soul and my expressions.
La Loving Logan
Comments
Post a Comment