Confusion In The Dark
I know I have a, sort of, issue with reading situations. I don't know exactly what it would be called. I think I have maybe discussed it a little before.
I have a hard time reading social cues. Sometimes I feel like people are playing games with me, and I have no idea what is actually going on. I can just tell that there is something going on.
And I'm not so sure where it all comes from. I was sheltered pretty extremely growing up, this could have something to do with it. I also feel like I have some sort of mental social stigma.
Conversations are a lot of times are treacherous for me. I fumble over what I should say next. A lot of times, I'm pondering what I might should say, as someone is talking to me. Not because I don't want to listen, or I just want to say what I want to say. I don't actually know what to say.
I have a hard time pretending i'm interested, if I'm not interested. Ass hole, I know.
But what am I getting at. Oh, so I get the sense that sometimes I may be disrespectful in some way about religion. Ok, I know I can be disrespectful in some ways about religion. I just fail to see how it affects an individual on an emotional level.
There isn't an excuse for it, though I could list some. But they are more reason for my outburst than anything. Not to say they are justified.
I never want to be disrespectful of someones religion, but I definitely cross lines I'm sure. Just difficult to stay accepting of a faith that shits on people and is the cause for such catastrophic undoing of the planet and society. Wow!!!
See, there I go just saying shit about religion. Goddamn it!!
Its so hard to catalog the different sects of religions. I tend to lump all people who identify with a religion under the same canopy and its not fair. I know this.
Anywho, back to the original discussion. So I was out with a friend and a friend of said friend, and somehow religion came up for about 2.5 seconds. I said something about prayer, how it doesn't matter who you pray to, the act of praying is the same through out every religion.
The reply back was, it does matter, and its all different. Then a random thought of never disrespecting someone's religion escaped the friends lips and that was the end of the religious conversation....
Here is where my head goes as the conversation carries on about dogs and cats. Was said friend referring to me? Was it something I just said? Was it something I have said before and not realized what I had said and this was the tipping point? Where did this thought of disrespecting someones religion come from? Was it just a random thought that popped into said friends head? Or was it triggered by my slight disdain for religion as a whole....
Ooh, man this could get interesting. I think there was a subtle nuance of understanding that any talk of religion was going to end in a circle of accomplishing nothing except maybe hurting someones feelings or making someone angry.
I still don't know why? And I'm not so sure why thoughts like these stay with me.
Could it be because of my interest in the said friend and not wanting to cause strife like that. Could it be a clash of beliefs and desires. my belief in religion as being detrimental to society and my desire to be a friend to said friend.
These subtle nuances always baffle me. I always seem to know when something is going on, at least I think there is something going on, but I can never put my finger on it.
Its like I said before in a another post. I feel like the world is playing a game against me and I can't figure out the rules. God what a fucking existential predicament.
Keep it simple. I no longer believe in religion. In fact, it goes as far to actively believe that religion should be done away with, or just simmered down. Maybe its more along the lines of what the founding father of this country didn't want to happen when they said to keep religion out of the politics. Which obviously has become warped into something entirely different. Where now, religion is used as a tool to sway the masses into voting how someone wants them to vote. Or keeping the masses agitated in such a way that a mindless fucking war over oil could be going on longer than WWI and WWII combined.
See where my disdain for it comes in. And maybe that is the fulcrum for my distaste. That it has gone past the point of being a personal belief and is now a part of the failing structure of society. Instead of a sect of people taking on a personal belief in a way of life, they want their personal belief to be imposed on everyone. And this has been happening for sometime.
Just look back in history. The Salem Witch trials, Christians couldn't let other people have thier own personal belief and murdered innocent women on the premise that they were worshiping the devil, which was a fabricated lie but the people ate it up.
I feel like I'm rambling on a lot. I think what I wanted to get at was this idea that I could be disrespecting someones personal belief. Its not their fault that religion is used as a tool for mass control and has woven its way into the dialogue and representation of government.
I guess my question would be, are you ok with taking the bible out of schools and the ten commandment out of the halls of justice? If not, then are you ok with teaching Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism and Christianity side by side in school. This I believe is where the true colors would be shown.
I don't even know where this was supposed to go. All I can think to do is ask said friend if I did say anything to disrespect their religion. And then make amends and move on from there. I can see that I need to work on my approach to such conversations. Be more loving and accepting of individual beliefs but separate those beliefs from governing people.
I have a hard time reading social cues. Sometimes I feel like people are playing games with me, and I have no idea what is actually going on. I can just tell that there is something going on.
And I'm not so sure where it all comes from. I was sheltered pretty extremely growing up, this could have something to do with it. I also feel like I have some sort of mental social stigma.
Conversations are a lot of times are treacherous for me. I fumble over what I should say next. A lot of times, I'm pondering what I might should say, as someone is talking to me. Not because I don't want to listen, or I just want to say what I want to say. I don't actually know what to say.
I have a hard time pretending i'm interested, if I'm not interested. Ass hole, I know.
But what am I getting at. Oh, so I get the sense that sometimes I may be disrespectful in some way about religion. Ok, I know I can be disrespectful in some ways about religion. I just fail to see how it affects an individual on an emotional level.
There isn't an excuse for it, though I could list some. But they are more reason for my outburst than anything. Not to say they are justified.
I never want to be disrespectful of someones religion, but I definitely cross lines I'm sure. Just difficult to stay accepting of a faith that shits on people and is the cause for such catastrophic undoing of the planet and society. Wow!!!
See, there I go just saying shit about religion. Goddamn it!!
Its so hard to catalog the different sects of religions. I tend to lump all people who identify with a religion under the same canopy and its not fair. I know this.
Anywho, back to the original discussion. So I was out with a friend and a friend of said friend, and somehow religion came up for about 2.5 seconds. I said something about prayer, how it doesn't matter who you pray to, the act of praying is the same through out every religion.
The reply back was, it does matter, and its all different. Then a random thought of never disrespecting someone's religion escaped the friends lips and that was the end of the religious conversation....
Here is where my head goes as the conversation carries on about dogs and cats. Was said friend referring to me? Was it something I just said? Was it something I have said before and not realized what I had said and this was the tipping point? Where did this thought of disrespecting someones religion come from? Was it just a random thought that popped into said friends head? Or was it triggered by my slight disdain for religion as a whole....
Ooh, man this could get interesting. I think there was a subtle nuance of understanding that any talk of religion was going to end in a circle of accomplishing nothing except maybe hurting someones feelings or making someone angry.
I still don't know why? And I'm not so sure why thoughts like these stay with me.
Could it be because of my interest in the said friend and not wanting to cause strife like that. Could it be a clash of beliefs and desires. my belief in religion as being detrimental to society and my desire to be a friend to said friend.
These subtle nuances always baffle me. I always seem to know when something is going on, at least I think there is something going on, but I can never put my finger on it.
Its like I said before in a another post. I feel like the world is playing a game against me and I can't figure out the rules. God what a fucking existential predicament.
Keep it simple. I no longer believe in religion. In fact, it goes as far to actively believe that religion should be done away with, or just simmered down. Maybe its more along the lines of what the founding father of this country didn't want to happen when they said to keep religion out of the politics. Which obviously has become warped into something entirely different. Where now, religion is used as a tool to sway the masses into voting how someone wants them to vote. Or keeping the masses agitated in such a way that a mindless fucking war over oil could be going on longer than WWI and WWII combined.
See where my disdain for it comes in. And maybe that is the fulcrum for my distaste. That it has gone past the point of being a personal belief and is now a part of the failing structure of society. Instead of a sect of people taking on a personal belief in a way of life, they want their personal belief to be imposed on everyone. And this has been happening for sometime.
Just look back in history. The Salem Witch trials, Christians couldn't let other people have thier own personal belief and murdered innocent women on the premise that they were worshiping the devil, which was a fabricated lie but the people ate it up.
I feel like I'm rambling on a lot. I think what I wanted to get at was this idea that I could be disrespecting someones personal belief. Its not their fault that religion is used as a tool for mass control and has woven its way into the dialogue and representation of government.
I guess my question would be, are you ok with taking the bible out of schools and the ten commandment out of the halls of justice? If not, then are you ok with teaching Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism and Christianity side by side in school. This I believe is where the true colors would be shown.
I don't even know where this was supposed to go. All I can think to do is ask said friend if I did say anything to disrespect their religion. And then make amends and move on from there. I can see that I need to work on my approach to such conversations. Be more loving and accepting of individual beliefs but separate those beliefs from governing people.
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