Beer My Love
The days have been good lately.
And I attribute them to an intense focus in stopping old habits. I guess stopping old habits in a sense is creating new one's. But there hasn't been so much of a focus on actually creating a replacement habit.
Which I think is a good idea to do. But I'll get to that later.
Going strong with the marijuana. only smoked once in the last 2 weeks and that was 6 days ago. And I have no intention or inclination to do smoke again for a good while.
I have noticed over the past few days the same thing starting to happen with alcohol.
Its like I have to ween myself off of it. But I think the hardest part of it all is realizing that friend nuances will change. I mean when all we do when we get together is drink, it kind of changes the paradigm between friends when one isn't interested in drinking.
Sure, we can all still hang out. But the late nights aren't as appealing. The 9 o'clock dinners don't excite too much. And come 7 o'clock when everyone is ready to get started, I'm ready to head home and wind down.
And this is all fine, but its just a thing I deal with. But they say, you are who you hang with.
So the other night went to another concert and it was an amazing show!! So lively, full of energy and soulful, such a a good message.
But I was thinking about it the next day when I was tired as hell. I did stay up till about 2:30. But I also counted 8 drinks that I had through out the night. Which might be a normal thing for most people, but for me that is entirely way too many.
It caused me to be dog tired for the entire next day. And it wasn't just the late night, I pull many late nights and I can be just fine the next day. Tired still, yes, but no where near as exhuasted I was yesterday after 8 drinks in one evening.
And even thought it was spaced out and I seemed solid. I absolutely should not have driven, and that is the worst part of it all. Toying with the danger and irresponsibility of driving under the influence is fucking stupid.
So as per usual for me, I learn lessons like 3, 4 and 7 times before it actually sinks in. But I can feel the energy shifting on this topic. I'm at the point where I still would love to have 1 or 2 beers with dinner. But thats it. Maybe a night cap when I'm at home. But beyond that, messing with alcohol does me no good.
Tires me out, even if I'm not debilitatingly hung over, I have to recover for like a day and a half. It sets me back physically from my workout, I want to eat shit food. All in all it does nothing good for me anymore. And yes, I do believe there was a time where acohol was good for me, as bad as it is for my body, I did enjoy the hell out of it. And I think that is the key.
But now, I don't enjoy it the same way. I absolutely enjoy one or 2, the focus is in saying no and not drinking more than that afterwards. When I'm around others who are drinking might be the difficult situations. But I feel pretty confident that at this point, I wouldn't even be interested in drinking more.
Last night, I had one while every one else was working through the 6 packs they had. To which, I left and let them be with their conversations and late night chats.
Shifts are happening, and they are all good. Flowing with them and letting them bring about greater awareness and confidence is key at this point.
Also as an aside. I have had several people in my life tell I should write my story, or a memoir of sorts. And this comes from the people who are interested in sitting long enough to hear where I came from and the nuances of growing out of that space.
Which sounds interesting to me. I think it would be fun actually. No idea what kind of path it would take me on but I have a feeling I would start to remember little things that have been set back in the recesses of my memory.
I decided I was going to do it. Just figuring out on what platform and how to do it at this point.
I'll keep ya posted.
'La Loving Logan'
And I attribute them to an intense focus in stopping old habits. I guess stopping old habits in a sense is creating new one's. But there hasn't been so much of a focus on actually creating a replacement habit.
Which I think is a good idea to do. But I'll get to that later.
Going strong with the marijuana. only smoked once in the last 2 weeks and that was 6 days ago. And I have no intention or inclination to do smoke again for a good while.
I have noticed over the past few days the same thing starting to happen with alcohol.
Its like I have to ween myself off of it. But I think the hardest part of it all is realizing that friend nuances will change. I mean when all we do when we get together is drink, it kind of changes the paradigm between friends when one isn't interested in drinking.
Sure, we can all still hang out. But the late nights aren't as appealing. The 9 o'clock dinners don't excite too much. And come 7 o'clock when everyone is ready to get started, I'm ready to head home and wind down.
And this is all fine, but its just a thing I deal with. But they say, you are who you hang with.
So the other night went to another concert and it was an amazing show!! So lively, full of energy and soulful, such a a good message.
But I was thinking about it the next day when I was tired as hell. I did stay up till about 2:30. But I also counted 8 drinks that I had through out the night. Which might be a normal thing for most people, but for me that is entirely way too many.
It caused me to be dog tired for the entire next day. And it wasn't just the late night, I pull many late nights and I can be just fine the next day. Tired still, yes, but no where near as exhuasted I was yesterday after 8 drinks in one evening.
And even thought it was spaced out and I seemed solid. I absolutely should not have driven, and that is the worst part of it all. Toying with the danger and irresponsibility of driving under the influence is fucking stupid.
So as per usual for me, I learn lessons like 3, 4 and 7 times before it actually sinks in. But I can feel the energy shifting on this topic. I'm at the point where I still would love to have 1 or 2 beers with dinner. But thats it. Maybe a night cap when I'm at home. But beyond that, messing with alcohol does me no good.
Tires me out, even if I'm not debilitatingly hung over, I have to recover for like a day and a half. It sets me back physically from my workout, I want to eat shit food. All in all it does nothing good for me anymore. And yes, I do believe there was a time where acohol was good for me, as bad as it is for my body, I did enjoy the hell out of it. And I think that is the key.
But now, I don't enjoy it the same way. I absolutely enjoy one or 2, the focus is in saying no and not drinking more than that afterwards. When I'm around others who are drinking might be the difficult situations. But I feel pretty confident that at this point, I wouldn't even be interested in drinking more.
Last night, I had one while every one else was working through the 6 packs they had. To which, I left and let them be with their conversations and late night chats.
Shifts are happening, and they are all good. Flowing with them and letting them bring about greater awareness and confidence is key at this point.
Also as an aside. I have had several people in my life tell I should write my story, or a memoir of sorts. And this comes from the people who are interested in sitting long enough to hear where I came from and the nuances of growing out of that space.
Which sounds interesting to me. I think it would be fun actually. No idea what kind of path it would take me on but I have a feeling I would start to remember little things that have been set back in the recesses of my memory.
I decided I was going to do it. Just figuring out on what platform and how to do it at this point.
I'll keep ya posted.
'La Loving Logan'
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