Soaring Confidence, A Beautiful Woman

So I find it interesting how each day is noticeably building on the previous day. Which is obvious, thats kind of how it works.

But I'm noticing the confidence returning, the confidence I remember having 6 or 7 years ago.

I also am noticing the fear of putting myself out there and sharing who I am dropping away.

I think I can tie it to a few things, one probably  being the cutting back on smoking. And its not even difficult anymore. Sure I smoked Sunday, but it wasn't a fight against myself, it was a conscious choice because I actually wanted too. Only to realize that I don't actually want to for the time being.

Another is the intentions I have put out there. A month ago started a three month series of Super new moons, leading into an eclipse season. And on the first new moon I created a few intentions, one being to cultivate more confidence in myself and be able to carry on random conversations with people.

Well let me tell you, that shit is working.

First month was rough. I got thrown behind the bar where I had to be upfront and center with people and I was forced to talk even when I had absolutely no interest in doing so. My confidence was sparce, I was tounge tied, had no idea what to say to people.

Then about a week ago I noticed a shift and I became a little more comfortable behind the bar.k

Then, I told you about that one bar tender right? I wrote about it in the "A Loop Around" post.

Well I wrote a letter to the bosses about him. Put it all out there, how I felt and what I saw and everything.

Then last night, big boss comes in, looks at me and says...."I read your letter, its done"

At first I didn't know exactly what that meant. Was dufus fired? Were they switching shifts around so I never have to work with him? Idk.

But basically he let me know he heard me and hes been wanting him gone for the past 2 months. And the last straw was partially my letter and also finding out that he was tipping out the service bar tenders how ever he wanted to. Bascially in what ever way gave him more money.

Sneaky bastard.

So there it is. Done.

And even working beside him last night things went well. I talked up the bar, broke a salt shaker.....pretty sure that's bad luck...

Fuck my life.

But...end of the night, this absolutely beautifully gorgeous woman came into the bar. Her eyes goddamn.

And to make things better she was literally the only one at the bar. So we started talking and before you know it, I'm opening up to her about my life, and it just me being me, and I'm sharing things I don't normally put out there, but at this point, fuck it, why hide it.

And long story short. I gave her my number and she hugged me. We had a pretty somber conversation about whats going on in her life right now, and i'm feeling really good about continuing a conversation with her.

She had these sexy read high heels on too. God she was sexy.

Anyways, I say that to say, I felt secure where I was, I felt confident talking to her. I was nervous or overthinking shit in my head.

To a new day, building on the last. Got a double to work today, bar morning, close serve tonight. Makin money for sure. I can feel it.

That fucking storm last night was electrifying, I actually got caught in it in the middle of my run.