A Lesson In Vibing
Sweltering in endless thoughts of existentialism. I'm craving freedom from my own prison of subjective bars. dividing me between my own thoughts of fear and the freedom to be and love and express.
I find myself lost in doing things that I don't want to do, for the pleasure of trying to be in the moment. But that is the catch isn't it. I shouldn't have to try to be in the moment.
I should just be in the moment. But being in the moment for me is different for being in the moment for others. If others would wish to drink to be drunk and be high on alcohol. I would wish to drink and be high on restfulness and wimsy of thoughts.
I want to lounge around the day and fall in the sand, having a feeling of deep relaxation. I want to wade in the water free of a come down. I want to fly in the sun and bake in her rays. I want to arrive back home early to cook a meal and read and binge tv all before midnight when I blow the lights out in the house.
Early rise, smell of salt, coffee fills the air. I mosey around, plop on the couch and curl up in a blanket and watch mindless tv, maybe read a book, maybe write, coffee, hell yeah.
Meandering through the day, half lost, half asleep, fully alive to the sounds, smells, tastes, nuances of life.
This is my idea of vacation.
Simply put. We weren't vibing. We were on separate playing field, but I attempted to play the same game with my own rules and it created a dissonance. It wasn't me.
I could'nt talk. I had nothing to say. I didn't know what to say. I was tired, I was lost, I was wishing for something else, unable to jump fully in to the moments of high and drunken revelry.
I condone it, for it may be what you want. I appreciate if for what it is. I guess I was done with it after the first night. I wanted to do something else, but that meant departing from the ship that you had set sail on and swimming back to shore, to lay on the beach and do nothing.
Difference of being.
I am very focused on raising personal vibration and it seems to be an agenda that carries over from day to day. The more things that lower my vibration are thrown out the window, the higher and higher I become. But one day of a binger and I come crashing down, just to have to start almost all over.
Or maybe I am overthinking. I just know we weren't on the same page and that is fine. I just need to recognize the difference in interest and know that sometimes we wont vibe in certain situations.
Its just hard for me. Because I do consider you my closest friends. And to realize that things are different now and we have changed and grown apart, makes sense, but its hard to accept. My appreciation for you doesn't change and I will always consider you my friend, but I have to stop doing what I don't want to do.
Its really simple but hard to accept personally. We have different interests now. Our dynamic must change.
La Loving Logan
I find myself lost in doing things that I don't want to do, for the pleasure of trying to be in the moment. But that is the catch isn't it. I shouldn't have to try to be in the moment.
I should just be in the moment. But being in the moment for me is different for being in the moment for others. If others would wish to drink to be drunk and be high on alcohol. I would wish to drink and be high on restfulness and wimsy of thoughts.
I want to lounge around the day and fall in the sand, having a feeling of deep relaxation. I want to wade in the water free of a come down. I want to fly in the sun and bake in her rays. I want to arrive back home early to cook a meal and read and binge tv all before midnight when I blow the lights out in the house.
Early rise, smell of salt, coffee fills the air. I mosey around, plop on the couch and curl up in a blanket and watch mindless tv, maybe read a book, maybe write, coffee, hell yeah.
Meandering through the day, half lost, half asleep, fully alive to the sounds, smells, tastes, nuances of life.
This is my idea of vacation.
Simply put. We weren't vibing. We were on separate playing field, but I attempted to play the same game with my own rules and it created a dissonance. It wasn't me.
I could'nt talk. I had nothing to say. I didn't know what to say. I was tired, I was lost, I was wishing for something else, unable to jump fully in to the moments of high and drunken revelry.
I condone it, for it may be what you want. I appreciate if for what it is. I guess I was done with it after the first night. I wanted to do something else, but that meant departing from the ship that you had set sail on and swimming back to shore, to lay on the beach and do nothing.
Difference of being.
I am very focused on raising personal vibration and it seems to be an agenda that carries over from day to day. The more things that lower my vibration are thrown out the window, the higher and higher I become. But one day of a binger and I come crashing down, just to have to start almost all over.
Or maybe I am overthinking. I just know we weren't on the same page and that is fine. I just need to recognize the difference in interest and know that sometimes we wont vibe in certain situations.
Its just hard for me. Because I do consider you my closest friends. And to realize that things are different now and we have changed and grown apart, makes sense, but its hard to accept. My appreciation for you doesn't change and I will always consider you my friend, but I have to stop doing what I don't want to do.
Its really simple but hard to accept personally. We have different interests now. Our dynamic must change.
La Loving Logan
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